Tag: Humor

1 – I’d kill for a Nobel Peace Prize.2 – Borrow money from pessimists — they don’t expect it back.3 – Half the people you know are below average.4 – 99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.5 – 82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot.6 – A conscience is what […]

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer? Traffic Cop: Yes ma’am, I’m afraid you were speeding. Older Woman: Oh, I see. Traffic Cop: Can I see your license please? Older Woman: Well, I would give it to you but I don’t have one. Traffic Cop: Don’t have one? Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 […]

On the first day God created the dog. God said, “Sit all day by the door of your house and bark at anyone who comes in or walks past. I will give you a life span of twenty years.” The dog said, “That’s too long to be barking. Give me ten years and I’ll give […]

A lawyer, who had a wife and 12 children, needed to move because his rental agreement was terminated by the owner, who wanted to reoccupy the home. But… he was having a lot of difficulty finding a new house! When he said he had 12 children, no one would rent a home to him… because […]

The Umbrella – a touching story On a rainy afternoon, a group of protesters were gathered outside the grocery store handing out pamphlets on the evils of America.  I politely declined to take one. There was an elderly woman behind me and a young (20-ish) female protester offered her a pamphlet, which she politely declined. The […]