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**********************************************************************************************************************************You A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns […]
Continue ReadingThe inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54 The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57 The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41 The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America’s fitness revolution by […]
Continue ReadingThe kids filed into class Monday morning. They were all very excited. Their weekend assignment was to sell something, then give a talk on salesmanship. Little Sally led off. “I sold Girl Scout cookies and I made $30” she said proudly, “my sales approach was to appeal to the customer’s civil spirit and I credit […]
Continue ReadingAs good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.” “Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London, the […]
Continue ReadingThese glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.” “He had delusions of adequacy.” ~ […]
Continue ReadingJust because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to, doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have. Fred and Emma were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool, Fred suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom […]
Continue ReadingThe Fable of the Ant and the Grasshopper…the PC Version TRADITIONAL VERSION The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the ant is warm […]
Continue ReadingSocialism You have two cows. The government takes one and give one to your neighbor. Communism You have two cows. The government takes them both and promises you milk but you starve. Fascism You have two cows. The government takes them and sells you the milk. Bureaucracy You have two cows. The government takes them […]
Continue ReadingEvery morning, the CEO of a large bank in Manhattan walks to the corner where a shoe shine is always located. He sits on the couch, examines the Wall Street Journal, and the shoe shine gives his shoes a shiny, excellent look. One morning the shoeshine asks the Executive Director: What do you think about […]
Continue ReadingDONALD TRUMP: I’ve been told by my many sources, good sources – they’re very good sources – that the chicken crossed the road. All the Fake News wants to do is write nasty things about the road, but it’s a really good road. It’s a beautiful road. Everyone knows how beautiful it is. JOE BIDEN: […]
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