Tag: Humor

My husband and I went through the McDonald’s driveway window and I gave the cashier a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her 25c. She said, ‘you gave me too much money.’ I said, ‘Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar back.’ She sighed and […]

I used to be able to do cartwheels. Now I tip over putting on my underwear. I hate it when I see an old person and then realize we went to high school together. I told my wife she should embrace her mistakes… so she hugged me. My wife says I only have 2 faults. […]

The old lady handed her bank card to a bank teller and said, “I would like to withdraw $10The teller told her, “For withdrawals less than $100 please use the ATM.” The old lady wanted to know why … The teller returned her bank card and irritably told her, “These are the rules. Please leave […]

 A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan. They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn’t […]

An old, blind Marine wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake.He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.In a very deep, husky voice, the woman […]

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one. Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response. Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent. Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread isn’t done […]

     **********************************************************************************************************************************You A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns […]