One Liners

I’m on two diets. I wasn’t getting enough food on one. Apparently RSVP’ing to a wedding invitation “Maybe next time,” isn’t the correct response. Don’t irritate old people. The older we get, the less “Life in prison” is a deterrent. Have you ever listened to someone for a minute and thought “Their cornbread isn’t done […]

Continue Reading

Church Sign Humor

     **********************************************************************************************************************************You A man suffered a serious heart attack while shopping in a store.The store clerks called 911 when they saw him collapse to the floor. The paramedics rushed the man to the nearest hospital where he had emergency open heart bypass surgery…He awakened from the surgery to find himself in the care of nuns […]

Continue Reading

Life Longevity?

The inventor of the treadmill died at the age of 54 The inventor of gymnastics died at the age of 57 The world bodybuilding champion died at the age of 41 The best footballer in the world, Maradona, died at the age of 60. James Fuller Fixx credited with helping start America’s fitness revolution by […]

Continue Reading

Robert Mugabe Quotes

Among other things, the Zimbabwe ex-President will be remembered for his wit and his colourful language. 1) “When your clothes are made of cassava leaves, you don’t take a goat as a friend.” 2) “If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men don’t walk around with X-ray machines to […]

Continue Reading

Old Guy Jokes

George Phillips, an elderly man from Walled Lake, Michigan, was going up to bed, when his wife told him that he’d left the light on in the garden shed, which she could see from the bedroom window. George opened the back door to go turn off the light, but saw that there were people in the shed stealing […]

Continue Reading

Back in Old Ireland!

As good as this bar is,” said the Scotsman, “I still prefer the pubs back home. In Glasgow, there’s a wee place called McTavish’s. The landlord goes out of his way for the locals. When you buy four drinks, he’ll buy the fifth drink.” “Well, Angus,” said the Englishman, “At my local in London, the […]

Continue Reading

When Insults Had Class

These glorious insults are from an era “before” the English language got boiled down to 4-letter words. A member of Parliament to Disraeli: “Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease.” “That depends, Sir,” said Disraeli, “whether I embrace your policies or your mistress.” “He had delusions of adequacy.” ~ […]

Continue Reading